Odyssey’s hit is playing as we are crossing Czech borders and entering the country I was born and spent most of my life in, yet always struggled to identify as a citizen of.
You see, coming from a mixed family brings a lot of gifts such as learning more languages without the need of studying them, being introduced to more cultures and customs, just as well as it can add another layer of confusion in trying to understand who you are & if there can ever be a place in the world where you will feel at home.
In pure transparency, I never felt Czech even though I was born & grew up in that country.
I never felt Russian even though my mum & other relatives are Russian.
I never really felt either and so I gave up on trying to fit into some particular nationality box, focused on what is beyond nationality & how is it all related to our Soul’s evolution.
Note: One of my favourite writers Karel Capek used to say about himself that he was a cosmopolitan being – I’m okay to go by that too.
Long story short, when being away from Czechia for about 3 years (with an exception of a super-fast visit to my grandad’s funeral that I missed due to a delayed flight, but that’s for another story), I sincerely believed I had no relation to that country as I never felt home sick even once during my time away.
And so, we crossed the borders and I didn’t feel any signs of “home-coming”, rather emptiness, disconnection, a level of separation perhaps.
“Mummy look, the fields look different than the ones in Hungary. I like it, it’s pretty.” My five-year-old daughter suddenly comments in the back of the car to break the silence and I smile.
Karlovy Vary – the love, the play, the surrealness
We make our way in one go to Karlovy Vary, my home town, to reunite with my dad, my brother & my sister and her English family that we haven’t seen for close to four years. It feels surreal. Despite a potential language barrier, the children waste no time on chit-chatting and dive into play and play until the very last moment of our time together.
My dad stressing, trying to be a good host. This is a first family gathering of its kind and so everyone feels on some level awkward but everyone finds peace in watching our little girls play.
I am seeing the paintings I’ve painted more than 10 years ago hanging in my brother’s room – that’s his favourite he says & a memory of how I painted it appears. Wow, so many things happened since.
Cut – time to go to Prague
After a few days there we head to Prague to reunite with Mom. We jump on a tram and it takes me literally no time to start tearing.
It’s the same woman’s voice announcing next stations that I’ve heard so many times and it all starts coming up …
All kinds of memories, good and “bad”, of my university times,
night outs, my first jobs, meeting my husband, welcoming Grétie to this world,
it’s all there …
Why the hell was I thinking it wouldn’t be?! I look back to Gabor in tears and he nods in understanding. Yes, a lot of things happened for us here.
OK I finally admit to myself – Prague, I feel you. We have a connection.
We’ve always had. Thank you for letting me figure that out & proving me wrong!
Soul meeting with my Soul clients
On a morning before our last day I make my way to a coffee place I used to love and was about to close down when we were moving away. Now it’s up & running again.
I am walking there excited to meet some of the Souls I’ve had the honour to call my clients, for the first time in person and finally be able to hug them.
And so, I do, hug, squeeze, laugh, feel their energies, enjoy the conversations about growth, success, manifestation, alignment … so much blessing & connection, transmuting nervousness into excitement.
Gratitude. In love again with them. Making a decision right there – yes, I will host a retreat.
The time has come & I cannot wait to create a top-notch live experience I can pour my entire heart & Soul to.
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And then it’s time to go
And honestly, I can imagine staying for longer. Departs & saying goodbye are only getting more challenging for me as I am getting older. We pack up into the car & set the navigation to our current home that is now in Hungary, sweet Hungary. <3
Has divine timing ever failed you? Me, never. And so on our way we get a phone call confirming that we now have a land to build our home on in the sweetest place in Hungary. Eeeek!!!!
We’ll be back soon for more, Prague! Look for us! But for now – here’s to new beginnings & creating homes where our hearts are right now.