Sometimes in my work with clients I meet with an approach:

“This can only be this way because …”

“You can only succeed in this field if you do …”

“You cannot do something which is not following / in regulation with …”


Beliefs. Beliefs that are often so much rooted inside of us that it can be very difficult (but not impossible!) to question them, left alone change them, even if there are countless examples of how things CAN happen in another way.

You can live with a belief and hold on to it so tightly that it will manifest in your body in a form of a disease, such as beliefs:

“I am not good enough as I am.”

“I am now worthy.”

“I don’t deserve good. / I deserve to feel bad.”

Why do we hold on to beliefs so much?

The answer is simple. We have created beliefs in our system to feel safe. Beliefs are meant to keep us safe because what feels safe is what we know. It makes us feel even safer if we know that we share our beliefs with others, our relatives, friends, society. Therefore, the fear of unknown is something totally normal. It is not in the safe “known” ground and so it is an existential based fear.

But let me tell you something very important.

It’s an illusion. Not the fear, the fear is real. But sticking to our old beliefs hoping that we will remain in the safe place is an illusion. It’s not real and especially when our “safe” environment is not safe at all but it’s actually malicious to us, causing damage to our mental and physical health.

In my mentoring and healing practice, I have met with people desperately trying to keep their old beliefs which were causing actual physical harm to them. So, let’s think now – is sticking to old malicious beliefs a form of masochism?

Is sticking to old malicious beliefs a form of masochism?

Yes, I believe it is indeed.

The question is, do you want to keep hurting yourself with trying to hold on to some beliefs that are actually hurting you?

And while we are at it. Are you ready to consider that the beliefs are not hurting you themselves but it’s how YOU interpret them towards yourself? And if you don’t like the interpretation because it’s numbing you, stopping you from following your dreams or doubting the importance of your existance, you always have the power over deciding which beliefs you want to store in your system and which you don’t?

Yes, sometimes we need to do some trauma work and healing to help release and dissolve an unwanted belief, but you can ALWAYS decide whether you want to keep that belief or not any longer and then make steps towards changing it. It IS in your power, my dear, may you be 14, 35, or 70 years old.

Do things happen to you?

And I am going to drop another bomb here.

Are you ready to re-assess the belief that “things happen to you” as the truth is that things just happen?

They don’t happen to you, they don’t happen to anyone else, they just happen. YOU give the meaning to them. YOU interpret how they make you feel. YOU decide whether they are good or bad. Their essence is really empty and If it rains today, it rains today. It’s neither good or bad, on it’s own. It’s how you interpret it – what you make it mean TO YOU.

Do we create our own reality then? Of course we do, constantly – we create what things MEAN to us.

And the actual things that happen in our physical reality? Well, if you follow the guidance of your Soul, work on understanding and releasing your traumas (yes, we all have them), take steps, little or big, back to Your True Self, You can expect experiencing a lot of joy – and you’re likely going to interpret these as highly pleasant.

PS: Need a compassionate hand with understanding and transforming some of your beliefs to experience more joy and lightness in your life? Let’s have a look at them together, shall we? 💕


I am a spiritual business coach, artist, mum to a bright little girl and wife to one amazing man. You can read more about my story here 🔗.

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